Musing 146

At various points in my life, I have a lot of fight in me for online debate, in person debate, just some type of pushing of my mind against others. Part of it is pure competitiveness, wanting to prove myself mentally, since I love intellectual pursuits. And at times I must admit sin has turned that into a sinful quarrelsomeness.

But other times, I feel the weight of life and . . . just do not have the fight in me. Though I may want to fight, either exhaustion, or just a feeling of “this is pointless” just takes over.

And while I have much experience at just powering through, those times without the fighting spirit are just so draining. Why I feel that way, no idea.

But I do know that I always seek to have a burning love for my Lord in those moments when it feels like theological debate is pointless. Being faithful to the Lord will never return void.