Musing 36

Some days, life just gets you. There’s a bunch of things I’ve been aiming to do this year, one of which has been to lose 40 lbs to continue my efforts to be healthier.

Up until now, I’m net neutral on weight, despite trying to calorie count more stringently and getting back into weightlifting (on top of my other physical activity like walking the dog and rowing).

But while I haven’t lost the weight, I can still feel the physical benefit, but it still sucks that the one benefit I’m looking for has yet to come.

In the midst of that frustration, the realities of the other things going on (such as my body starting to visibly reshape, feeling physically better, having my patience slowly grow, etc) are little comfort. And that realization is applicable to so many areas of life.

It is hard to persevere when it feels like we can’t see the results we want, even when we do see the secondary goals be met. Especially in the battle against our indwelling sin, I know how often I’ve been discouraged by the fight needing to continue against specific sins that weigh heavy on my soul, I’ve fought against for so long, and while I’ve seen progress, it feels like the finish line is still ever so far away.

The beauty though is that our God is with us in the midst of that frustration, and when the anxiety about that sin rears its head, God speaks peace to that anxiety and brings us closer to Him as He brings His work in us to completion.

At the end of the day, losing heart at the difficulty and length of the fight is understandable. A desire fulfilled is a balm to the soul, and we long for that. The secondary goals and benefits we gain from fighting are appreciated, but in the moment don’t bring that victory and comfort we desire. But don’t lose heart, our comfort is not for today in this world, and there will come a day when every effort receives its true reward.